The Great Gig in the Sky - Pink Floyd
I’m sitting in an internet cafe in San Leandro Valle, Baja Mexico, fumbling with the Mexican key board i can barely type on. Listening to my oh so obsessed Pink Floyd session, thinking about my experience so far in Mexico, my friends, new faces, stories, and laughter. I still can’t believe I am here. I remember being in Durango thinking in my head, and vocalized it a couple times, ’I am so scared to go, I’m freaking out!’ But I guess that is typical to feel and experience. I can’t find the quotation marks on this damn keyboard, Google and all but no luck, so bear with me. If I stayed in Durango, I would have been doing the exact same thing and doing the same motions. Get up, make coffee, go to class, spend some hours in the library, smoke my cigs and greens, chill, and do whatever I feel is necessary.
In Mexico it is different. I have classes Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Class starts at 6:55. My host sister, who is about the same age as me is graduated from school, gets up around 4 or so and is out of the door by 4:30 to go work out in the fields picking fruit and vegetables. My host mom is up by 4:30-5 am making tortillas and getting breakfast ready for my little sisters and I. We wash up using bowls of water we scoop out of barrels in the restroom cause we don’t have running water. I take out all of my piercings, slick my hair back and down because I have to be ‘professional’ cause being a teacher, you have status, or last respectable position in Mexico. The police are corrupt, government, etc., so being a teacher in Mexico is pretty deluxe.
The first week in the classroom was pretty chill, the kids were more interested in getting to know me over their English books. I guess it’s the fact that, whoa, here is an American, but not a stereotypical American, but a brown American, piercings, spiked hair, and speaks fluent English, what is up with that? I try my best to communicate, talk, and pronounce foreign words, but slowly I am learning. I can get the gist of conversation, listen, and understand, but when I have to respond, I am a deer in headlights. What I have noticed is the honesty that becomes every day when you are in a foreign country. With English and understanding the words fluently, it is easy to keep words brief, tell more or less, but never too much. But when there is a language barrier and all you are trying to say is, ‘your dog in the backyard likes to eat chili in its scraps?’ can be the most challenging, and funniest thing in the world.
This morning I was imitating expressions by pointing to the scraps and chili and stating, ‘perro, mucho gusto chili?’ with my hands imitating dog ears on my head and my host mother laughing at me and responding ‘yes, yes, the dog loves to eat chili and tortillas’. I could not stop laughing about the dog because, a) seeing the bowl of scraps full of tortillas, eggs, and chorizo b) watching my host mother pour the last bit of coffee in the bowl and then stopping for a second and opening up the jar of chili and putting some spoonfulls of tomatillo salsa in the dogs food c) that dog has a full course meal of a Mexican breakfast, WITH chili!
My perro’s in the USA would be like, ‘oh hell no, don’t you put that chili in my dog food, i aint no chili pepper!’
I also hear from my bro Johnny who is also part of the program, that there is a dog living in a trash can near his house. Turns out, he was walking outside to take out the trash and as he is walking past the trash can, this dog pops out of the bin and he screams nearly punching the dog out of reflex to self-protect and scares the dog. Now he sees the dog jumping inside of the trash can, kicking inside of there, and living out of it. When the dog needs to take a piss or go eat, it jumps out of its trash bin, does its business, comes back and jumps back in and kicks it. Ha! Resourceful I’d say, hell the dog can even star gaze if it wanted to.
I am really happy here, stoked about the people who are on this program with me, and the feeling of child’s eyes is every day. You have this vocabulary of a three year old, it is a hit or miss if someone is going to be patient with you or snatch things and glare at you cause you can’t speak español. I don’t really care if I get glared at or things snatched from me, all I am trying to do is keep it cool, learn a new language, and be gentle about it, not demanding and shitty. What I’ve realized is the humor, man, when you have a language of a three year old and you are trying to talk AND teach English, you really can’t take yourself seriously, but take the steps slowly and repeat it over and over and over. Going to bed, I am reflecting my day, words I have learned and what I don’t understand, I am cheesin’ it, cracking up at myself, and Pink Floyd-Brain Damage playin through the night. I know it is a dark song, but ehh…Pink Floyd is rocking my word right now, there is this crazy connection going on in my head, and all I want to do is blast it loud. Learning a new language and teaching a language is no easy thing to do, I am on my third week and eh…I am figuring out activities and things to do. Waiting for the day the kids go ballistic on me, and I am really not that worried if they do. Put yourself in their shoes, remember the substitute that came into class, the fluent Navajo speakers calling the teacher ‘beegushie’ aka cow in Navajo. Pick pick pick pick, when will the substitute break? You can’t break or show frustration or else they’re gonna ride the wave of agitation, so you can’t crack, ride the wave, and play it cool.
Last week — Chewed up so bad by spiders I looked like a cheetah!
Yes, it is true…I was chewed up on my neck, arms, legs, and hands, it sucked so bad. I was itchy, scratching and agitated with the damn bug bites. My family did not get bit up, only me, and the way I see it, I am not smoking cigs so much, I am eating a lot of sugar, them spiders were stoked to get their tiny little spider teeth all up on my blood to pig out. I hate spider bites with passion and to get bit up I was nearly on my knees to pray to god, please no more spider bites!! jaja but my host family cleaned up the room, built a couple bunk beds, and sprayed the room. My bites are healing and going away, I just want it to go away faster. I swear I am a clean person but shit always happens to me like that. Last year, I got ringworms from my damn rats. Ehhhh….how disgusting. It makes me feel like, I am dirty, tainted, and untouchable, like ewwww….you don´t want to rub up on me, I am like an infested dog or something. But that is me exaggerating because i get all grossed out with bugs, spiders, and fungus. Just the word, fungus, bleh…gag reflex.
Any who, I believe I have touched bases for the time being
-peace
Can I say wow? Looked back on some old post on this thing and holy moly, talk about DRAMATIC. Haha. Well I’m stationed in Arizona for a day or two, deciding when I’ll be heading back to Durango for a hot second. I’ve got plans to leave for Mexico and do some further traveling. Quite honestly, I’m pretty nervous but then again I know this trip is gonna be rockin and so worth it. These past weeks have been wonderful, spending a lot of time with the people I love the most and eating good food. I can’t believe graduation is coming up, but that is not so much of a huge event compared to Mexico. I’m not so worried about the job part or if I am going to make it or not. Way I see it, with good intention and consistency in aiming for what you need rather than want, it will come. I need just enough, no less or no more. I do not have an interest in making tons of money and buying shit all the time. I’ve learned a lot these past months, but I know it is not nearly the end of it. If it were, then I’d be dead. I’m not thinking suicidal or anything, all I am saying is that, if we get all that we want and know all of the answers in life, then what do have to live for? I love challenge, to think, to wonder, and check things out. This trip of mine is just that, I’ve waiting to study abroad for years, and finally with patients and determination, a lot of good things are working out for me. It feels good to have a clear mind, and no longer worrying. I still worry, but not so harshly.
I’ve done a lot of stupid shit, lemme tell ya. But with mistakes and weird shit happening, it is not all that bad. When I reflect on things, I definitely want to crack myself upside of the head for reacting like an ostrich or a freakin’ wimp, but hey, we all freak out one way or another. I think I’ll finish up this paragraph when I get a better understanding on the shit I’ve pulled, but I think we all think that. Thankful for the time I have put aside for myself, remembering dreams, thoughts and good feelings. I want good things to happen, have good thoughts, and be focused. I’ve made some mistakes but I do not regret anything, I refuse to regret. I had friends back in high school who would regret one thing out of another and never embraced the moment or be present. I believe this is the time to be present and be with emotions and crazy feelings, cause what it comes down to, it won’t kill you. Touch the anger, frustration, and bubbly feelings, again, it won’t kill ya.
Anywho, I’ll be keeping up with this blog, postin pics, music recorded while i’m in mexico, and who knows what. Other than that, I am back.
Audrey d.
ahhhh….home sweet home
Fall 2011 out in the forest with my bro natashia :) hells yeah
